Having had a few experiences myself, I can’t help but wonder what the mindset of an insecure person is.
Somebody bullies you and humiliates you in front of other people. Totally unnecessary, I think, in the instances that I was subjected to that. Somebody discredits you or withholds compliments, when I thought the situations called for them.
Wikipedia defines insecurity as:
Emotional insecurity or simply insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image or ego.
Two big words in Mr. Wiki’s definition.
The feeling of inferiority, I think, is innate in every individual. Someone is always more intelligent, more beautiful, sexier, richer, etc. But it is a feeling that shouldn’t be cultivated as it doesn’t do the subject any good. It awakens the feeling of jealousy and envy, and harbors the feeling of inferiority even more. Besides, your measure of intelligence, beauty, riches is just your own definition. It is your own measure of a person’s qualities and are never validated or accepted as the world’s standards for such. Somebody else will have his own concept of these things.
EGO. Self-esteem. Inflated sense of self-worth. That thing that is very difficult to feed. Again, self-worth is subjective and varies from person to person. It is your own perception of your own worth.
The common denominator between the two is SELF. While it is important to keep “self” happy and stable, stepping on or degrading other people is not a requirement to inflate your sense of self-worth.
While it is never easy to be the object of insecurity of these people, I feel pity and am amused by them. Before I let my own ego get the better of me and play the games they play, I remember to step back and take the higher ground.
It is difficult at times and I have to painfully remind myself that I know better. I know myself more than anyone, being with myself for almost 34 years now. I’ve grown and appreciated myself more. I learned to give credit to my own strengths and just rejoice in being alive, in things that I have.
I have weaknesses and faults. A lot of them. But I rejoice in them too. For they are signs that I am still a work in progress. One day, I will be better and better and better.
I found my own place under the sun. I am comfortable with what I have become, I love my niche. I don’t have to compete with anyone, because I have my own talents and skills. I don’t have to walk on anyone, because I know I have my own role to play in this earth. My own, not yours, not theirs. I don’t have to throw mud at anyone, because I know this game isn’t played that way. And I know I have what it takes to succeed, too.
Success isn’t a limited opportunity which is open only to the early-takers. It is open to everybody, and each one in the team can succeed. Success can be shared and is best experienced when achieved the right way.
To all of you who have tried, are trying and will try to bring me down, I’m sorry but you did not/are not/will never win. Thank you though for trying. You’ve shown me that I am important enough to waste your time and energy on. You’ve shown me that I embody your idea of what “you” want you to be. And while you do that, my EGO is thanking you big time!
Try channeling the energy to more productive things instead. Appreciate the blessings you have. Love yourself for your strengths and forgive yourself for your faults. Find your own niche and be comfortable in it. You’ll see your own self-worth increase. The best cure for the pathetic disease you have.